fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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(via p-i-n-k-b-u-l-l-e-t-s)


donatellavevo:

current mood: oprah running on hot coals

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(via dutchster)


demonhunting:

crabbyseer:

queenofheartsonthesleeve:

So today this guy accidentally hit me with the door when he was walking out of a classroom and instead of saying sorry he just looked me over and said ‘pretty cute’ and walked away . And then I realized . I literally just got hit on . The pun is greater than the pain .

I guess you could say that he adores you

get the fuck out

(via laughbitches)


spoken-not-written:

heyfunniest:

When someone tickles my neck.. 

I CAN RELATE TO A FUCKING PLASTIC BOTTLE I HATE THIS WEBSITE

spoken-not-written:

heyfunniest:

When someone tickles my neck.. 

I CAN RELATE TO A FUCKING PLASTIC BOTTLE I HATE THIS WEBSITE

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)


Me after walking upstairs: I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

princeofhopefulness:

deodrant:

*tries to talk*

*gets ignored*

“you should talk more!”

(via laughed-so-hard-i-got-cramps)


ifreakinlovebooks:

Best TV show ever.

(via rolling--thunder)


Good answer. [x]

(via best-of-tumblr)


zackisontumblr:

my textbook and i have a lot in common

zackisontumblr:

my textbook and i have a lot in common

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)


beyonceish:

today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit 

(via thehilariousblog)